emothy

I am possibly overdue a ramble, but whenever I get emotional and want to ball it all up and let it out I also want to keep my stupid shame and fears to myself. So I've been driving myself crazy right within my own mind a lot recently.

Life is going to be crazy this year, I am going to accept that. A lot of changes, new experiences. Hopefully all good ones, or at least mostly. I can't have everything good ;)

My sleeping habits are ridiculous. I have had pretty much every Monday and Friday this month booked off as holiday, I have every Monday in February and a couple of Fridays. So I have two days off, two days in, two days off, one day in. I am lucky if I fall asleep before 2am most nights. And I keep falling asleep on the sofa when I get home from work because I just can't get my timing straightened out.

I am teaching one girl at work how to do the assistant manager job (along with mum also teaching her because you know, I'm on holiday a lot at the moment), and teaching another girl how to do the card section. Teaching is only as enjoyable as the competance and attitude of the student, I find. So that's not a viable career ;)

I have done so much writing. A combination of watching the Prince of Tennis anime all the way through, right to the end of the Nationals for the first time ever, and having all this free time. I have been inspired to write anything and everything with those characters. It's like my One True Fandom. You know, since Lostprophets and I broke up.

I've already posted about 20K worth of writing since December - a proportion of it is private entries in my fic journal admittedly because it's part of a series but all at random along the timeline and of course you write the plot twists first so it would ruin the whole thing if it were seen ;)

Cyn asked me what else I had in the works, and I ended up word-counting it all the other day. I kept the list because I'm rather awed by it. Seriously:

alwaysagirl!Fuji = 7731
assassin!au = 1272
Fuji!sensei = 2086
Mei-chan fic = 1067
OT5!verse = 2377
OT6!verse = 3796
jail!fic Chapter 2 so far = 1986
jail!fic other snippets = 2988
Tezuka/Fuji continued from age-stamp meme = 1521
therapy!fic = 3609

28,433 WORDS NOT YET POSTED. (And yes I like exclamation marks. Everything is !!!)

That's more than double what I wrote last year overall. But I suppose I did watch a lot of new things last year - especially Korean dramas I think, so it was about getting my head around so many new characters and settings and situations. And JDramas especially only last a small amount of episodes compared to most TV I am used to. Perhaps it isn't enough background and build-up for me.

Tomorrow I am going to the bank to have a lovely chat with a financial advisor. Fun. But it needs to be done. I have money and it is doing nothing in useless places. I will change that.

Out of 13 books I got for Christmas, I have read 7. I have a couple more Vorkosigan books to read, a trilogy Natalie bought me, and The Curse of Chalion, because I could only get the first book in the series at the time. I certainly plan to buy more things to read when I get through these ;) January and February are always big book reading months for me because of how much holiday I always have left to use up. It's so quiet at work it's scary. We have the minimum of six staff a day (enough to cover the sheer size of the shop) and we're struggling for things to do.

There is no Criminal Minds tomorrow(/today) :( But I suppose if I had known there was one, when I had this stupid meeting at 10am which is when I'd usually be looking the video up online, I'd have been a lot more annoyed!

So, I finished Coffee Prince today. I WILL GLADLY ADMIT I WAS WRONG ABOUT THAT SHOW. ( And I will cut because I told Cyn to watch it and I won't spoil it for her XD )

I even wrote fic for it, go figure! You know how you always end up writing things you never would've expected? Or characters you didn't think you would bother with? I mean, sometimes the lead characters are just too easy and not worth the writing, or the show keeps them so the focus that there's no space left to write about them in between.

On a non-fandomy front, mum is going away for a week tomorrow. She's staying with Lin. She started her holiday yesterday and I did Saturday on my own with no problems luckily! I had the last new girl to start to train up (we've had FOUR new people start in the past week, and we only have 15 people tops overall). No customer arguments, only one refund to do. I barely even remember any customers asking me questions or speaking to me at all! But the day goes fast when you're in charge and trying to make sure everything gets done. I had to help a couple of the girls with their jobs and make suggestions of how to fit things and change things around.

Nan is coming over Monday night anyway. New central heating is being fitted and she doesn't want to be around the mess or the noise. I think it's going to take about three days. She was just going to stay with both me and mum, but when I told her mum would be away she said she'd arrange it so she'd be here with me for a few days. That means she'll probably make dinner, and wash up and stuff XD I AM SO SPOILT. The only thing that sucks about being here alone is going to bed. I hate how creepy it feels to be the only one in the flat. No matter how safe we are, the absolute SILENCE bothers me. I can sleep knowing someone else is already asleep here.

If I'm lucky the two books I ordered will be here tomorrow. Though knowing my luck they won't fit in the damn postbox and I'll have to go get them from the Royal Mail office! Starting the Miles Vorkosigan books - I believe it's three volumes in one. And I picked out the 'Master and Commander' (Or Aubrey-Maturin) series because I was almost certain that the group of people I found about the Temeraire books from also read these and write fanfic for them. When I went back to find the evidence I was left empty-handed of course, but hell, we had one of the series at work with our £1.99 books so I thought I'd give them a go anyway. Slash potential, I am not too hard to please sometimes. But it will remain to be seen ;)

eta; Oh! I also read Naamah's Kiss. I forsee another trilogy in the making here! Or at least another volume - that book is a set-up for another book completely. It was a little weird, reading a story in another character's POV because it felt a little like Phedre at times, and the name-dropping of ancestors got a bit grating, but Carey did manage to be a little different in there. And focused a little more on the girlsex this time ;) A little.

A list;

- Finished rewatching Tae Wang Sa Shin Gi (Still the most perfect TV show EVER), and I've even resolved my misleading myself over the ending. I am now sure what I originally wanted to believe is quite plausible. Very.

- Still watching Coffee Prince, though not at the same pace as everyone else - when I saw the episode five post I thought to myself, "damn! Still need to watch 4!" which I have done now. Five is on pause, ready to start. Still shipping Eun Chan/Han Sung WAAAAAAY more than anything else. Han Kyul and Yoo Joo can sod off together and leave me with our cute heroine and smiley Mr. Voice.

- Finished reading a 'book' today. I use the term loosely, because I believe that it was first published as it's own novel, but I have it republished along with another story into a whole book. I'm talking about Shards of Honour and Barrayar, which has been put together as Cordelia's Honour (I AM ENGLISH, I SPELL IT WITH A U). I'm already seeing why Lois McMaster-Bujold has a following - she's generally an easy read, and then there are some really lovely turns of phrase that stick in my mind. And I've giggled an insane amount of times, so I definitely share the humour of herself (and/through) her characters.

- Got tomorrow off as a days holiday again, because this is only the sixth one I've had so far this year since April, I think. And I have 28 in total to use up before NEXT April. Got a few more booked in September, too.

- We have four new people starting at work within the next ten days. Two girls are leaving to go to university, one left pregnant, and one left for another job. We'll see how that goes! :x I'll reserve my worries for now; what happens happens.

- Thinking writing these days is a little implausible. There are so many things now that I love, or enjoy, but have no desire to fic. Which is a new thing, relatively. Compared to the past. I have to work out how that affects my inspiration because there are still other fandoms I am interested in exploring through fic. And Gokusen, I miss. You can write practically anything for Gokusen. I almost want to grab the list of cliches from wherever it was and prove that you can Gokusen ANYTHING XD

Seems like on LJ National Coming Out Day became National State of My Sexuality Day. Though I suppose the excuse for that is that online you don't have to hide who you are so much, especially not when involved in fandom (and a large percentage involved in gay and lesbian fiction anyway, not that it is to be assumed everyone is gay therefore, but are open to it at least!) It is sort of interesting to have suspicions about people confirmed though, or to see how they perceive themselves.

How about you? ;)

Also, seems as though we should be getting a substantial pay-rise at work, since the minimum wage has gone up twice for the girls in the past year I believe, but they haven't been able to up our (management) wages accordingly because of business all over not doing so wonderfully (oh England, so full of idiots so willing to get into huge vast stupid amounts of debt). But now that mum and I, as assistant managers, currently only make 33p an hour more than the (throughly clueless) girls, we (and Jan) had to have a say about it. And so to make up for the lack of two payrises, we should get a decent bump up this time, yay :D

Last night our neighbour's cat decided to sleep on my bed since I'd actually been nice to him (it's a dangerous thing). So he decided that made it okay to wake me up every time during the night he decided he wanted some attention and affection. Waking me by pawing my face and biting my nose, biting my hands if I put up a hand against him or tried to push him away, hissing and attacking me. Abotu five times he woke me up, so I was totally knackered in the morning and completely pissed off. You just see him TRY and do it again another time.

Poor pretty boy finally lost tonight, but not before getting a 2-0 lead to begin with. Le sigh ;)

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July 2023

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