sundays suck. as do saturday nights

Urrrgggggghhhhhh, working on a Sunday is SO. WRONG.

I don't think my mum spent the whole night on the sofa after all. Probably couldn't sleep, it's not all that comfortable. My dad is a complete psycho though, saying really awful things and then laughing about them. Acting like his threats weren't real and yet he kept doing it and repeating them.

Oh, but there's no PHYSICAL violence so that's alright. The drinking and lying and threatening and domineering and claiming ownership over everything, that's fine as long as he isn't hitting her! People are SO narrow minded. My dad doesn't even understand what mental/emotional violence is. Apparently any illness that involves your mental state is "made up". Oh, so people don't commit suicide from just words?

My mum deserves so much better, and I say that honestly even if he is my own father. SHE MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. And she deserves better and I hope we do move out.

Meh anyway, got to work and order things and delegate and deal with customers and junk. Blaaaaaaaahhhhh. Saturdays involve no ordering, delegating yes, but mum does most of it, and quite often somehow it works out that I don't spend a lot of time on the actual shop floor. ALSO THE DAY GOES FASTER. Oh today, please go fast until hometime. When I come home I want it to go slow because I have work tomorrow too, and Tuesday and Wednesday...

thinky thoughts

I hate this issue I have of replaying things I've said over the past day and their responses in my head and trying to work out how I could've said it better or made amends or whether I just shouldn't have said anything at all.

I also think it's so sad that my mum only has me to talk to about her problems because she's too proud to admit to her friends that things aren't all perfect. Or too ashamed? I don't know.

I wonder if people are so desperate to find someone to love and who loves them because thwey make life less complicated. I wouldn't mind having someone around who made life less complicated and who I didn't make mistakes with all the time.

Or someone who understood my mistakes and could forgive them or help me sort myself out, whatever.