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Rikkai... What are you doing to my Rikkai?



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ShinTenipuri Vol. 2 Ch8 - "The Emperor vs. The Child of God (First Act)"

Blahblah, Ibu vs. Shinji, foreign dude vs. foreign dude, RIKKAI PAGE.

Gosh, Sanada vs. Yukimura. It's... Voyeuristic. Only the team should get to see their own players play each other! XD Even Atobe looks like he's taking notice. It's totally sexy.

"Don't hold back on me, Yukimura." Guh. Gah. ARGH.

"You never hold back, do you Sanada?" NOTICE HOW HE TOTALLY DEFLECTED REPLYING TO THAT ONE?

OHMYGOD. I'm just going to UNF my way through these pages. I'll report back when I'm a puddle of mush done!

Oh by the way, the other two matches have been decided, and supposedly Sanada and Yukimura are still rallying for the first point. STOP KILLING ME HERE. IF THIS WERE REAL TENNIS I'D BE SCREAMING BY NOW.

Please don't animate this. I'll DIE.

WAITWAIT. NEXT CHAPTER ALREADY?!

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ShinTenipuri Vol. 2 Ch9 - "The Emperor vs. The Child of God (Final Act)"

...

...

...

Pffft. This panel. I'm sorry, am I the only one who doesn't need them to have been BFF-FOREVER?! I much prefer what I'm writing for first year coughcoughcough.

These panels are so GORGEOUS...I could so watch Tenimyu of this (THE PRETTINESS OF IT ANYWAY) :x MYGOD. MASSU AND KANE PLEASE NOW. IT'S NOT SECOND SEASON, YOU CAN TOTALLY COME BACK AND DO THIS. BONUS FEATURE, ADD-ON! YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO FOLLOW THE PLOT. IN FACT, PLEASE DON'T. I WILL WRITE YOUR SCRIPT.

Gah. I need to take a break.

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This is where I overanalyse every single little translation.

"While I was away, to secure Rikkai's consecutive third victory, you created our law of absolute victory and did whatever you needed to do for the sake of out club."

OKAY, setting aside all the hearts in my eyes right now, at first I was all, "wtf? Who created the law of absolute victory? AND NOT UNTIL WHEN?!" AND THEN I THOUGHT, WAIT. Yukimura has been going around all this time just implying it. Sanada's the one who came back from the hospital and went, "Yukimura won't be back any time soon. I'm going to handle things for now. And also, new rule: you can't lose any matches, ever."

And Marui is all, "Uh, Sanada, we already know that..." and Yanagi just murmurs, "Bunta, leave him be, he needs this."

/headcanon okay.

AHAHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. KONOMI JUST WOKE UP. WE HAVE JUST REACHED KONOMI LEVELS OF STUPID. I mean, the whole YIPs thing is bad enough, but that's crack I've had to deal with before (don't get me started on this whole "Yukimura's tennis is another big goddamn gimmick" thing. I like the basic idea in that it's incredibly creepy and badass, but in practice it's just ridiculous).

ANYWAY BACK TO THE KONOMI LEVEL OF STUPID; YUKIMURA'S HEADBAND JUST PINGED OFF. IT SNAPPED UNDER THE INTENSITY OF MASSU'S GLARE AT THIS STUPID SHIT SOME INVISIBLE SHOT THAT BROKE THE METAL LINK FENCE happens more often than you'd think in Tenipuriland, where there is no physics.

~Black aura~, hmmm. We're going to call this channelling Hijikata XD TENNIS IS A FIGHT TO THE DEATH, YOU KNOW.

That was kind of abrupt. That's all I get? ...YOU HYPE THIS UP TO ME AND THAT'S. ALL. I. GET?

I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OTHER GODDAMNED MATCHES. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME.

Pah. I just. So unsatisfying. THIS IS WHY I HATE MANGA AND CAN'T GET ANYTHING FROM THESE STUPID "ACTION SEQUENCES".

AND WE DIDN'T EVEN GET ANY RIKKAI COLOUR-COMMENTARY ON THIS ONE!

...I WANT A REFUND! Shut up, I know I didn't pay to read it, I feel I'm owed money anyway.

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ShinTenipuri Vol. 2 Ch10 - "Those Chosen By Their Captains (Opening Act)"

Atobe vs. Hiyoshi. Kaidoh vs. Tezuka. Tezuka just powered up the magical swirling of 'Hyakuren Jitoku no Kiwami' without missing a beat. Will someone please remind him once in a while that he is a tennis player and not a super sentai? I keep expecting his arm to be powered by a badass morphing watch or belt or something. A bionic arm, Tezuka? An idea for the future when tennis is played by human/technological hybrids? I'm sure it's going to happen in "POT: 2050".

...I swear to God, it's always been obvious that Atobe was obsessed with Tezuka, but at this point in POT "canon" (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA), Tezuka is RIGHT THERE WITH HIM. They are waging war against one another through playing their little second year proteges. You know, the ones who were just all of a sudden declared the new captains randomly at the end of Nationals? The ones the current captains haven't given any extra attention to trainingwise, mentorwise, tacticswise... until now?

Anyway, it's all rather sexy on Atobe and Tezuka's part. Because they are both sexy XD

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ShinTenipuri Vol. 2 Ch11 - "Those Chosen By Their Captains (Final Act)"

This is where we stand: Atobe is playing Hiyoshi in one of his famous never-ending tiebreaks (YOU CAN'T BEAT REALITY ON THAT, KONOMI, AHAHAHAHAHA. WIMBLEDON 2010, ISNER VS. MAHUT. NO MATTER WHAT RIDICULOUS SCORE YOU GIVE US THIS TIME IT WON'T MATCH REAL-LIFE TENNIS), apparently keeping Hiyoshi on par with him, teasing him with the possibility that he might just be able to surpass him but not quite unless he really Gekokujo's his way out of this one? Oh Atobe, you playa.

Tezuka's going about it the complete opposite way, mercilessly beating Kaidoh down and not letting him get any points at all you learn that from Yukimura, Tezuka? :P, until he starts using the Tezuka Zone to pull obviously out balls back into play (IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT KONOMI, PHYSICS.)

And apparently Atobe was just stringing Hiyoshi along because he can't handle long matches. How come so many of them have this stamina problem, Konomi? You do realise don't you that they'd have to be at a certain level of fitness to play this game that involves RUNNING AROUND A COURT ALL THE TIME TO RETURN A BALL OR ELSE YOU LOSE?

...So basically, what we learn from this is that both Seigaku and Hyotei are handing over to second years who aren't as strong as their former captains (but through the magic of tennis I am sure now that they've been handed inspiration and talent invisibly and will be Atobe-and-Tezuka-level come next season. FFFFFT) and also that their teams are going to be mostly made up of characters never before seen in the show, or ones used for comic effect. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, SEIGAKU, HYOTEI. GO FOR THE NATIONALS WIN SNORTS.

(Don't even point out to me that Kirihara is the only current Rikkai member on the team next year. RIKKAI'S REGULARS ARE LIKE TINY T-REX'S, READY TO BE SET LOOSE TO DEVOUR YOU, OKAY? IT MATTERS NOT WHAT THEIR NAMES ARE.)

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ShinTenipuri Vol. 2 Ch12 - "Lost Children"

...Toilet humour. We put the focus on Ryoma and Tooyama and they give us their freshman toilet humour. I am not impressed by a. Ryoma's inability to wait for a free toilet stall, and b. the way he KNOCKS ON THE DOOR AS IF THAT'S GOING TO HELP THE DUDE IN THERE GO ANY FASTER. I know, I shouldn't even be discussing the toilets. Ryoma just annoys me by breathing. Can you stop breathing, please?

Uhmmmm, the next matches are starting; did someone not point out the results of Fuji vs. Yuuta? Because as a Fujicest fan, even though it was fricking obvious who would win, I am pretty put out here that they didn't get even a PANEL, a MOMENT, SOMETHING. And I don't give a damn about any of these matches :x

WAS I CONVINCING? MARUI, YOU SMART MOUTH XDDDDDDD JACKAL VS. MARUI NOOOOOOOOO. STOP THROWING OUT RIKKAI MEMBERS! Uhm, and who actually lost between them? *searches for a clue in the panels*

...Inui had to resign thanks to Inui!Juice? Oh lame, so lame this 'plot point'. And Kawamura gets to add another loss to his long list poor dude never catches a break :( I sense Konomi getting bored of this part, we're skipping so much, and only showing who is leaving at the end of each match.

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ShinTenipuri Vol. 2 Ch13 - "Encounter"

...WHAT?


...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

RENJI, YOU BITCH. YOU BITCH! YOU JUST ALMOST COMPLETELY DEFEATED AKAYABB, RESIGNED TO DENY HIM THE CHANCE OF MAKING A COMEBACK, HANDED HIM A COMPLETELY EMPTY WIN, AND SAID, "SADAHARU, LET'S GO HOME TOGETHER AND HAVE SOME INAPPROPRIATE KISSING SESSIONS, WHILE I'M DOING THINGS TO PISS AKAYA OFF TODAY."

GAH.

...And the rest of this chapter is Ryoma and Tooyama getting lost like the little idiots they are please stay lost, and going to challenge some high schoolers instead of doing what they're actually supposed to be doing. And of course, being the ~Prince of Tennis~, Ryoma will face no consequences.

(An aside to mention another random point of stupidity; the high schoolers are apparently rallying with five tennis balls in play at once. No comment!).

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July 2023

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