i never update about anything anymore

So we finally found out what happened to Cleo today.

She's been missing for a few days now, and we assumed maybe she wasn't getting along with the kittens and that someone might have taken her in.

Well.

Our neighbour Bobby came round today to tell mum that his landlady had been there when someone down our road had discovered a cat, a litle black and white cat with a yellow collar, who had been run over by a car.

Mum's been worried for days about where Celo was, and I was steadfastly trying not to think about it and put it right out of my mind until I could have a final answer. Well, now we have one. She was dead when they found her.

My dad apparently spent all afternoon bawling when he found out. And I keep cryin at random intervals. When I think about how she used to curl up in my arms love being jiggled like a baby and I would walk around the house with her in my arms for a good ten minutes until my arms were killing me. How she used to lick so much, all the time. The way she would curl up in the bathroom and sleep on the bathmat.

I called Figaro earlier, who has been unhappy since she's been gone, of course, he grew up with her, and then I realised I would never be able to call Cleo again and just burst into tears again.

I hate that animals have such a short lifespan compared to us, though I comfort myself knowing we gave her such a good life here that even if her life was short, she was happy.

God, I want to feel silly for caring so much about a cat, but I just can't.