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too much to do so little time
Jun. 5th, 2006 12:05 amMy Tuesday shopping trip as of this moment has managed to be stripped of almost everything that was going to make it good. The only thing I'm holding onto now is the fact that once I've done the journey once (twice technically; return trip) I can go ON MY OWN without any worries about getting lost and etc!
No fucking avoiding places I even SAID I wanted to go in, no getting there halfway through the day and leaving before the shops shut before I've been everywhere I wanted to go, no weird detours "just because" that leave out a whole street of shops I wanted to go down, no eating in places that OTHER PEOPLE suggest only to then go "why did we come in here, the food is not nice at all", none of that crap!
I love being alone. Why can't anyone get that? Jan wouldn't let me have my birthday off this Saturday because "Carrie and your MUM are both gonna be in working, so what are you gonna do anyway, home alone?"
UHM, NOT BE AT WORK ON THE WORST DAY OF THE WEEK GETTING STRESSED THANKS. AND HAVING SOME GODDAMNED ALONE TIME THAT I NEVER GET ANYMORE!
I miss it being just ME. I know I used to get so desperately lonely, I KNOW, but I don't like being smothered either. I think I'm about due for some of that aloneness again soon please.
I don't like having to deal with moodswings and post-teenage angst. And it's not even ME!
Stupid thing is, this morning I woke up after the having the most AMAZING fucked up dream. And I never got to finish it and it's been IN MY HEAD ALL DAY. Like dude that was some fucked up not-completely-human being and the whole... Impregnating... Thing...
Is it not funny when you're not attracted to someone (an actor) but can appreciate that there's good looks in him (in some kind of way, yeah) and yet there he is in your ended-up-being sex dream instead of any number of hot actors who are in fact DEFINITELY hot?
No fucking avoiding places I even SAID I wanted to go in, no getting there halfway through the day and leaving before the shops shut before I've been everywhere I wanted to go, no weird detours "just because" that leave out a whole street of shops I wanted to go down, no eating in places that OTHER PEOPLE suggest only to then go "why did we come in here, the food is not nice at all", none of that crap!
I love being alone. Why can't anyone get that? Jan wouldn't let me have my birthday off this Saturday because "Carrie and your MUM are both gonna be in working, so what are you gonna do anyway, home alone?"
UHM, NOT BE AT WORK ON THE WORST DAY OF THE WEEK GETTING STRESSED THANKS. AND HAVING SOME GODDAMNED ALONE TIME THAT I NEVER GET ANYMORE!
I miss it being just ME. I know I used to get so desperately lonely, I KNOW, but I don't like being smothered either. I think I'm about due for some of that aloneness again soon please.
I don't like having to deal with moodswings and post-teenage angst. And it's not even ME!
Stupid thing is, this morning I woke up after the having the most AMAZING fucked up dream. And I never got to finish it and it's been IN MY HEAD ALL DAY. Like dude that was some fucked up not-completely-human being and the whole... Impregnating... Thing...
Is it not funny when you're not attracted to someone (an actor) but can appreciate that there's good looks in him (in some kind of way, yeah) and yet there he is in your ended-up-being sex dream instead of any number of hot actors who are in fact DEFINITELY hot?
