at a thousand feet per second

So, I’m going to die today. I’m going into London, on Christmas Eve. The only day worse to go shopping in London would be in two day’s time, Boxing Day, and the first official day of the sales. But instead of mad bargain hunters I get crazed boyfriends, girlfriends, parents, wives, mothers, fathers and siblings trying to get something last minute coz they’re idiots. So if I have something snatched out of my hands and I coan see the whites of the person’s eyes I’ve decided I'll just back away slowly…

We have discovered it could be worse in ways. I could’ve been at work today, having to pick up after the mess the customers of our store make. Having to be polite to them when they just knocked over a whole rack of something, answering their dumb questions, all the while trying to reprice all the right stuff, put the right signs up, and do whatever else would inevitably be asked of me during the day. Instead I have thick socks on, a jumper, a bag stuffed with presents and a purse with money. Just… Well, all have a nice life, if I don’t make it, yunno.

It’ll be an untimely end, but I can suffer for my friends, obviously. You’ll all think well of me when you remember me right? Just have to hope my last day is memorable, and I don’t go down with cause of death as “Squashed, Thrown Around And Ripped Apart By Rabid Christmas Eve Shoppers”.

Good luck if you’re doing that by the way! As long as you’re not in London! Mmm yeah I’m off to suffer my fate now… Still tired urgh.