i don't believe in friendslock anymore apparently. here i am for all the world to see & put up with

Well I'm pretty bad with the coherancy and making a point and showing the magnitude of what I mean, but...

Ben, you're a beautiful person yourself you know. I mean, you should know that, you deserve to know that. You're just another one of those people in my life I'm at a loss when it comes to understanding why I have you. You're another one of those people it's just so easy to talk to, and it doesn't have to be big or important, it's just us. And you remind me of myself in ways other people never do, which knowing how great you are and can be, helps me to believe it when you tell me I am too. I don't know, I am so sorry things got as far apart between us as they did, and I don't want it to happen again, and I'll make sure it doesn't.

I think my early New Years Resolution is going to be to be fairer to all my friendships, more equal, and give them all the attention they deserve, or try as hard as I can to. Because you all deserve it but I don't show it, so how can you even believe it when I say it?


I love you Ben; those tears were for you, and I'm not sorry. Thank you, I don't deserve you, or the second chance you gave me really.