emothy: (Default)
You know what's annoying? When you go to bed later than usual, and then wake up earlier than usual (TOO EARLY), and try to turn over and get that extra hour and a half of sleep an your brain just won't switch off and let you relax back down into even dozing.

Also it was too hot with my cover, and then it was too cold without it. Whinge whinge whinge!

I have a follow-up appointment at the bank today at 9am which I will leave for in about 20mins. Hopefully I'll be home before 10am, and then I AM TAKING A NAP.

Fingers crossed anyway!

Criminal Minds season five is being aired on UK TV from tomorrow :D I've already seen everything that has been aired so far (except for last night's which clearly will have to wait til I get home... nap suspended!), but I have no problem rewatching them on the TV with mum :D

Been rewatching Story of a Man whilst writing on my laptop, so not following it really, really closely. Had forgotten just how cute Kyung Tae is, and how much fun the Dream Team are. On a semi-related note, a few weeks ago I suddenly realised I hadn't seen a [livejournal.com profile] dorama_watch post for ages. I wonder when that will start up again!
emothy: (tbm; chibi blue video)
I think sometimes advice can make you just bang your head against the desk a whole lot. I mean, I read everywhere that the best way to keep improving your writing is to just write every day, even if you're experiencing a block, just to attempt everyday to put something out there, even if you personally feel it completely sucks.

Except when it gets to be weeks and months since you've even had a chance to sit and think about writing, let alone type, you suddenly feel a very, very long way from that ability to 'write anything everyday'. I just want to cry a little bit.

I'm a long way from when I first entered fandom! And yes I wrote utter crap and mostly lifted plots from elsewhere (films for example, and quite honestly I admitted it) and simply wrote my characters into those plots. I think I should've been praised more for the concentration it took to watch these things and copy out entire dialogue than anything else XD

But I was writing everyday, and I did improve. And then over the years fandoms changed, friends changed, some went away. And I began to stop and start writing a lot more, stalling, getting blocked. I went from college with a four-hours at the weekend job, to part-time, to full-time. I've only finished reading one book this month thanks to the stupid pace at work,and watching too much TV instead of anything else (but it really helps me unwind and requires NO EFFORT AT ALL). I've read on average 5 novels a month every other month so far this year roughly, and that doesn't include the manga and/or graphic novels I've read at the same time, just actual full-length very wordy novels.

I frequently browse prompt/challenge comms, but I don't actually join because I don't feel I can contribute. I run away from Yuletide each year since I first participated because I don't think even that obligation and wanting to write something for someone in a tiny fandom we actually SHARE will push me enough. Each year I tell myself I MIGHT sign up, and then never do.

I kind of want a little prompt comm, maybe just a drabble comm with a new prompt every week, just for dramas right now because that's what I mostly would want to focus on. But I haven't the time to run one, or the enthusiasm, and I might not even end up participating anyway so it's just wishful thinking. I mostly want a way to make everyone ELSE produce more drama fic ;D


I booked tomorrow off as holiday, so for the first time in a little while I have two days off together. If I could even put words on the page I'd feel quite accomplished. So that will be my goal for tomorrow! And I'll be rewatching some old, familiar favourites after I finish The Rose, I think, in the hopes that it will rekindle the love and possibly spark some ideas. Or just something to talk about that might inspire ideas in others ;) Yes, when I don't write, I just 'encourage' others very lovingly.

I just want to be more positive than I have been recently, or most of my life. I want to be producing something and having a reason to believe in myself a little bit. I WILL SMILE AND TRY AND BE POSITIVE FOR A WHILE!


emothy: (Default)

July 2015

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